knifefight in BK

thanks, hoveround!

This week we're celebrating one of my ultimate masterpieces, THANKS, SEAFOOD! "the hoveround will not just instantly transport you to your local red lobster, IT WILL INSTANTLY TRANSPORT YOU TO YOUR LOCAL RED LOBSTER WITH A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO ARE WAY INTO THAT SUCKY MUSICAL 'CATS'." Can we talk about the level of ridiculousness in this picture? There are people in this world actively dressed up like characters from an embarrassing musical; is it that weird to assume they all now live at a Red Lobster? No, it's actually not. I don't get it, was the Renaissance Faiyhrererere too elitist or something, so you're like, "Oh yeah? Screw you, Lorde FancyeBottomes, I'm buying a unitard and taking MY nerds elsewhere." All I know is that this dimension probably opens up when your Hoveround wants to punish you, but feels bad, and offers you overpriced crap seafood during the punishment.

As an aside, if you're into the weird crap I make, go look at my art here.

thanks, hoveround!

This week, we're celebrating THANKS, NASA! "your hoveround is equipped to fly to the moon, where you will witness the majesty of the giant astronauts!" MAN, do I crack myself up. What can you say about this picture? It's right on so many levels. I'm proud of my circa-2005 self.

As an aside, if you're into the weird crap I make, go look at my art here.

thanks, hoveround!

This week, we're celebrating THANKS, CLIVE OWEN! "your hoveround will take you and your dog to a cheesy, mid-90s alternate universe, where you will be given an exciting and informative tour by the floating head of clive owen!" The best part about this picture? IT'S ABSOLUTELY TRUE. If you have a Hoveround, and the Clive Owen dimension hasn't appeared before you and your dog in all its Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper glory, you need to contact customer service immediately. Screw the Grand Canyon, Grandma, it's CLIVE OWEN.

As an aside, if you're into the weird crap I make, go look at my art here.

pete wentz for dummies

Takin' it back to 2005, y'all: It's the return of celebrity math. I've always felt like there was something familiar about Pete "Unfortunate Baby Names" Wentz, and I know now that this is because he is "Facts of Life"-era Nancy "Jo" McKeon, plus angst to the power of eyeliner. DUH. The funny thing is, angst to the power of eyeliner is actually the equation for emo itself. So basically, Pete "Girl pants" Wentz is actually just a whiny Jo Polniaczek in more carefully-applied makeup and more feminine pants. Who knew?

thanks, hoveround!

Easily the most popular part of this blog, for whatever reason, is the "Thanks, Hoveround!" photo album. Why? Um... because it's great. How about that? So, in celebration of Knifefight in Brooklyn turning 4 this year, I'll be revisiting one of my magical collages every week. Until I run out. Which will be pretty soon. So enjoy it while it lasts, champs.

This week, we're celebrating THANKS, NUCLEAR WINTER! "your hoveround will meld with your body in the event of any sort of nuclear incident, enabling you to become a fallout resistant automaton! KILL ALL HUMANS!" My favorite part of making this collage was accidentally finding that picture of Grandma sporting whatever the crap kind of terror mask that it is. The interwebz, you guys... it's a magical place. And I say that as someone who took it upon herself to create a series of bizarro collages depicting how magical the hoveround can be. HOLLA!

As an aside, if you're into the weird crap I make, go look at my art here.

revisiting the magic: DREAMCATCHER (aka "magic retard vs. the butt alien")

My abridged version of the cinematic accident called Dreamcatcher, or Magic Retard vs. The Butt Alien, was one of my earliest posts, and remains one of my favorite things ever. Let's relive the magic together, shall we?