knifefight in BK

2 years of magic

That's right, while most people have spent the last 24 months curing cancer, fighting the Martian menace, and designing new ways to enjoy pretzels, I've been writing this thing.
I'd like to wish myself a happy second anniversary, and in celebration, let's all remember why I'm so awesome:

MAGIC RETARD VS. THE BUTT ALIEN

I believe that's all I need to say. Here's to 2 more years of whatever it is I do, which looks to include sharing a laugh with plants. Super!

memorial day for dummies

happy kwanzaa/christmas/chanukah/festivus/etc.

hey team awesome, i hope you're having a really awesome (insert name of seasonal celebration here)! on behalf of... um, me and my cats, i'd like to wish each an every one of you a joyous (insert name of seasonal celebration) and a really awesome 2007. i have to go to south jersey and nebraska and the poconos now (in that order) but i'll be back in january. don't be sad! entertain yourself by, you know, playing video games or dressing your pets like different spice girls, and thinking about how much i truly want you to have a really nice (insert name of seasonal celebration here) with your (insert group with which you prefer to associate seasonally here). yay! bye.

briefly

ok, here's the story right now:

*my obnoxious, douche-tastic neighbors are cooking up a big mess o'... something that smells like raw sewage and death-cabbage? and YAY! it's fumigating the entire building!
*i'm coming to terms with my embarrassingly feminist-unfriendly addiction to this.
*if al gore only knew how terribly his precious internet was being abused...
AND
*finally, bottled water i'm too poor to review!

i done seen an opera.

...and if you want to see pictures of elise in a fancy costume, you should start here. don't worry, i'll have more things to say later. i'm just... very busy with vaccuuming and drinking tea... and playing "we love katamari" right now.

catster is making me an even bigger dork.

yes, i am a giant dork about my cats, and i'm not ashamed of that. why should i be? they're entertaining, and they let me make them "dance" against their will, for my own amusement... thus, i have fallen deeply in love with catster. in fact, i think catster is way more awesome and exciting and useful than friendster and myspace ever ever ever ever were, ok? go ahead, laugh at me and check out mog's catster profile and optimus prime's catster profile.

(OMG you totally have to ask my cats to be friends with your cats! OMG LOL BFF!!!!)

totally not my fault

for those of you who've been, you know, sending me all these emails about how i have to update and stuff, let me present you with my excuse: my excuse is a videogame. do you understand that it's crucial that i devote most of my free time to katamari? seriously. if you don't believe me, ask the king.

yeah, yeah, i'm back

the farty-man parade and my kidney trying to assassinate me have kept me from updating for a while, and i'm sorry, please don't hate me, um, check out my mad pumpkin skillz? it's educational. and... all science-y.