today's daily rotten had a link to this article about a woman in california who has been relaying to the community "messages from God" by, you know, painting them on her house and car in giant letters and broadcasting from a loudspeaker attached to the roof of her car and stuff. if you look reaaaaaaaally closely at the picture of her there, you can kind of make out what looks like the "large pins" she had jammed through her lips so she can't eat. you know, cause "God told her to." right. let me just ask a question here: why does craziness always have to be so wordy? what particular general deity is it who seems to pick out these people with extremely intricate, verbose conspiracy theories to "serve him?" what's up with that? is there an actual "paranoid lord of the whackjobs" out there somewhere, getting people to "expose" his thoughts on how, like, reagan stole their brains or something (this is a specific reference to a crazy man in chicago i used to see by the virgin megastore, if you want the whole war and peace-length story about how the government is using his teeth because of russia, you'll have to find him)? i think anyone living in a major metropolitan area has seen at least one of these crazies: they're usually yelling about the government, or the freemasons, and holding signs that read like a bottle of dr. bronner's soap, except with more "hitler's ghost clone raped my dog causing the elemental breakdown of the nation of ulaq4 not visible in the earth spectrum of eye deceptions" and less, uh, soap. i'm just wondering why the crazy can't involve less sweeping theories and explanation, like "huh, those geese flying overhead really won't shut up about the latest in alien technology" or "God sure seems to have a lot of theories about the relationship between gay rights and socialized medicine." anyway, if you want to see the rest of the pictures from the article...
How do you think this woman's SISTER justifies to her kids that the family's having Thanksgiving at Aunt Whack-a-Doodle's house this year?
And for her neighbors' sake, I hope Aunt Whack-a-Doodle keeps lights on her roof, so everyone can bask in the Lord's latest updates, when they're inevitably transmitted between 1 and 5 AM.
J.
Posted by: peaches | 2007.03.06 at 14:15