if i had a dollar for every time i got food poisoning, i'd have, like, probably enough to buy a dvd or something.

Have you heard about this latest botulism-tainted olive thing? Yeah, I just happened to be eating some olives today, and upon frantically digging the can out of the trash and discovering that the brand and code seem to be possibly among the recalled, I see now that I might have olive-related food poisoning. AGAIN. Here's a funny story for you, that my Mom will probably be annoyed that I'm posting because in the wrong light it could be a weak but possibly entertaining Lifetime original movie: when I was in high school, we moved, and for some reason my Mom brought to our new house an open can of black olives of questionable vintage. I'm not sure how long they sat unrefrigerated in transport, plotting away, but that probably didn't matter since they were REALLY OLD before the move, as in OLD ENOUGH TO COHERENTLY PLOT AGAINST ME. I'm guessing like a week later, my Mom made this salad for me... with the Olives of Horror in it. DISCLAIMER: MY MOM WASN'T TRYING TO KILL ME. PLEASE DON'T MAKE A LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT THIS. Naturally, within about 8 hours, I began a journey into what I call The Worst Food Poisoning Ever, in which I spent about a week on the couch, with a fever, vomiting, in a delirium in which my brain seemed to think I was actually trapped in a level of Super Mario Brothers 3. True story. Not as funny as the time I had a bad crab cake and had to stop about every three blocks on the drive to school to vomit out the car door, but definitely amusing because I COULDN'T STOP SEEING THIS ONE LEVEL OF SUPER MARIO BROTHERS 3 THAT I COULDN'T ESCAPE. Weird. And if you want like 35 other hilarious food poisoning stories, just ask me about the (condemned) diner where I used to hang out in college, and how I learned that french fries aren't opposed to trying to kill you. Anyway, check your olives, and have a nice day.

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[Pook]

Super Mario 3 would have been a helpful hallucination when I had food poisoning. I know where all the warp whistles are. At any rate, my family has "THE TURKEY OF DEATH". Me and several other members of the family chowed down on this thing over an Easter holiday and all but three people became violently ill. So ill, that 3 of us ended up in the hospital. I was one of the lucky ones to spend the weekend hooked to iv's. I will say though, it was the only time I have ever had phenergan in an iv. That made it VERY fun. thank you easter bunny!!!!