Of course I do. I've gathered a few of my favorites here from some random internet costume shop. Please use them and enjoy them because they are brilliant.
First we have a Dressy Devendra Banhart. I like to think of this as his "Elegant Evening Devendra" look. What you need for this look is:
1. A penis
2. A beard
3. A dress
4. I don't know, probably makeup?
5. Probably a good 15 obsessed sensitive hipster-girl stalkers walking behind you or something.
I want to say "just dress up like Manson, but super ethereal." Yes, I know he doesn't always wear a ton of makeup and jeweled bikinis. Look at that picture and tell me it's NOT Devendra Banhart. I dare you.
The $900 Broccoli for Some Reason
This costume is A. broccoli, 7. costs $900, and H. what? Yes. True. Good luck with all that. I hope there's a veggie-sexual group of plushies you can join afterwards or something. Perhaps you can start such a group. I really don't know what else you're going to do with a $900 plush broccoli outfit, although the possibilities for weirding out, say, people at a funeral are ENDLESS.
I'm pretty sure this was supposed to be an Anna Nicole Smith costume, but then she died, so they copped out and called it like "Wacky Drinkin' Housewife" or whatever. But listen, you know and I know that this is an Anna Nicole costume. All you need to complete the look is a hideous, clammy man creepily hovering next to you, and a lot of pink clothing. Bonus points if you go as zombie Anna Nicole... too soon? Hmm.
I don't know, I think this is either a "Crispin Glover Lumberjack" costume, or a "Williamsburg aging hipster" costume. There's really no other way to explain the hair, and the man's creepy face. And now I'm noticing that he seems to have some kind of... left breast? I don't even know what to make of this concept, or the fact that someone would charge you $19.95 to BE this awkward Crispin Glover/hipster/lumberjack with one breast... You know what? Don't go as this.
Have you ever thought to yourself, "I really want to dress up like Star Trek-era Kim Cattrall, but I also really want to dress up like Rick James?" PROBLEM SOLVED.
The legged dolphin. I'm assuming it's a special order because dolphins don't have legs. I think it would be nice if your Halloween costume honored the.. differently-abled... aquatic life. Imagine the heartbreak of realizing you're the only dolphin with legs, and bring that anguish to your performance. If dolphin ostracism alone doesn't help you craft a truly despairing-but-noble, tear-soaked rendition of legged dolphinry, think about this: you just spent like $800 on a legged dolphin costume.
Elderly Jesus. WTF.
This one's my absolute favorite: Sad Child Secretary. Are you looking for a clever-but-also-sort-of-depressing costume for your child? Here's what you need:
1. Wig from 1993, possibly run through a blender
2. Ill-fitting "power suit"
3. Sad blouse (yes, a blouse can be sad - look)
4. Benadryl enough to make your child slightly groggy and crooked-faced
Voila! Your child is a sad child secretary. Prepare for the complements to roll in. And also the job offers.
Whatever, all that really matters is that someone on ebay is selling a mink-trimmed "Satan." Ha ha, spelling... Hey, I want a Satan homecoming dress! Does it eat babies? Will it make fire and blood rain down on the prom? Sweet. And while this has nothing to do with the Dark Lord or your sweet Halloween costume I suggested for you, check this shit out:
POKÉSEX. Ebay is kinky.
Hmmmmm...I'm thinking the SATAN is a bit of a turn off for some. At any rate, all the Crispin Glover needs is a rat tail, a can of Meister Brau (cuz you know that gives him culture) and a pregnant teen! YAY!
I'm going to wrap myself in hot pink Tule and throw some glitter all over me and a whole LOT of lip gloss and go as Bobby Trendy.
Posted by: Pook | 2007.10.25 at 18:40